Mysorean

On the day when it all started, I didn't even know what a 'blog' meant.

Today after 200 posts, 16000+ hits and 1300 comments later, I have decided to move on. To my own domain called www.mysorean.com

Hope to see you all there. And if you could update your blogrolls with the new blog link, then it will be nice! :)

Farhan Akhtar tries an Indian James Bond but why did he have to choose a script of an old Indian blockbuster for this purpose? Maybe he consulted his father Mr. Javed Akhtar to write such a script and he said why not pick up one from my old tried and tested ones! And in 2006, you are treated to a film that is based (well, almost!) on a script written in the late 1970’s.
“Don 2006” is stylish and is twisted and convoluted beyond the recognition of the 1978 Don. Any resemblances to the original should be considered purely coincidental in fact. That’s the way in which Farhan Akhtar has adapted the script. Any comparisons to the original will only make you feel worse having watched Don 2006.

So, let’s steer out of comparison mode but not totally. The story, atleast the major part, is based on the Don 1978. Don is caught by police (DCP) and replaced with a look-alike “Vijay” to infiltrate the group and pass on information to the police. Then in a rare turn of events, the DCP dies and Vijay is left alone to fight it out all alone. So far so good and even Don 2006 sticks to this. Well, almost!

Farhan Akhtar brings in his intellect here. He hasn’t considered the Don 1978 script to be sacrosanct. He has made massive changes to make it interesting. And succeeds to an extent too. But then, it raises so many questions in your mind that when you are out of the theater you are busy debating certain things with everyone around you that you are not exactly thinking whether the movie was good or not. Now, I don’t think that’s the way one would want to end this movie after so much of effort to make it more interesting.

The Kareena cameo is not choreographed well enough. Farah Khan can do good work to party songs and dance numbers. She is not your person to do “seduction” numbers. I mean Kareena danced like she wanted to make Don dance with her and not sleep with her! The Farah Khan ability comes out very well in the “Khaike pan banaraswala” song combined with Shah Rukh Khan’s energy, the song is a pleasure to watch. (Utterly out-of-situation, but as Farhan Akhtar says, “Don would be incomplete without the song” and I agree)

The movie could have been shot better. The blurry look doesn’t help the slick image that Farhan wants. Paris (the action sequence to introduce Don was shot here. Why? You ask? Because Don is an international criminal!) was shown in such a hazy light that I was rubbing my eyes to believe what I had seen! If you want the movie to look slick then please hire a good cinematographer. A Ravi K Chandran or a Santosh Sivan would have done very well. Who is Mr. Mohanan? All people with names ending with “N” don’t make good cinematographers! (P.C. Sriram for example) The worst piece of cinematography I have seen is of that sequence on the Petronas Towers.

The editing, the scenes jump from one to another. Especially the scene involving DCP, Don and Roma where revelations are made and suddenly next scene is Don is in the school. Looks like a rearrangement of scenes in the hindsight. It is definitely a very amateurish attempt to cover up the twists and turns. At many other places too, the movie jumps. Not at all a good sign of editing a movie. If I had to rate editing alone, I would have given it zero stars.

The direction, considering the potential of Farhan Akhtar, could have been better definitely. Personally, I didn’t like the way he had characterized “Don”. Don is a womanizer (that tilted head with winged hands caricature of the ballet rehearsal at Paris was enough to establish that) and he drools over girls dressed in bikinis. He is a courier boy who goes to deliver his own stuff to seal business deals. He is a criminal wanted by the Interpol and only 5 cops including two old cops are on this search. The police have no photo of the enemy (Vardhan) of Singhania (Don’s boss) but have a shot of Don with which he could have entered a modeling contest (Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi, namumkin hai tho Vardhan ko Don bhi nahi pakad nahi paaya! Ab uske bare main socho!) Finally, Don is a small-time arms dealer who grew big because of the disintegration of Russia. Why is this required at all?! If he could have worked on his characterization a bit more, such stupid things wouldn’t have been necessary to convince us of the gravity of the situation. Anyways, Farhan Akhtar fails completely in characterizing Don – his main character, but succeeds in keeping us glued to the seats till the eternally long movie ends. (Is there some rule that all SRK movies need to extend beyond three hours or something like that?)

The music of the movie is a highlight that keeps us interested. Mainly because the songs are recycled from the past and made to suit today’s sound. But I have a problem with the title song. Shaan’s voice sounds too hollow to be a Don’s voice. A voice with slightly more gruffiness in it would have done the job better. Maybe Shankar Mahadevan himself should have moderated his voice around a little bit and sung. Naresh Iyer would have been a great choice for this song. The background music is catchy. Giving the movie a James Bond feel is the background music.
The stunts and the special effects department could have done better in the Air drop sequence or for that matter the Petronas towers sequence. Both of them fall flat. Like “Lakshya”s war sequences most of the stunts here fall flat. First, because there is not a strong enough concept behind it and second it is shot badly. Very badly. An out-of-context thought here: What was the white villain doing in the prison and the aeroplane? Why was he required? To tell us that Don is an international criminal? Why couldn’t Farhan Akhtar move away from the clichés (that usually surround a Salim-Javed script) and give us a convincing version of the original? Well he tried. And it worked. Well, Almost!

Shah Rukh Khan does his part. After “Swades”, he has tried a non-mushy mushy movie for which we should nominate this film to the Oscars. There is no trembling voice here. No smiles and teary hand-waves showing ‘tatas’. Probably, not having seen him in such a role for a long long time I thought he was about to change into the Karan Johar wardrobe any moment. No slow motion running. (He would be dead in that case! LOL!) Good pair of coolers he wears. Makes quite a style statement by wearing his tie inside. The only person who could have carried all this off was Govinda. Sad to see SRK substituting for Govinda. But no, credit where it is due. SRK isn’t as irritating as he is in his other movies. And so he has done his part.

Let me not talk about other performances as I would tend to disclose the plot in that case. Let me just say that Bomman Irani is not wasted while Om Puri is given nothing short of shit. Priyanka Chopra is pleasant. Kareena tries in vain to be sexy and dies in the process. Arjun Rampal limps his way for a fight scene with SRK. The cast is irrelevant in Don. Well, almost!

Rating: ***

Legend:
*Stay at home
**If you have the time to kill, go ahead, but not recommended
***Watch if you are a film buff!
****Go watch it on the big screen!
*****Don't miss watching this one on the big screen! Avoid piracy!

The injury list before our match against Australia:

1. Munaf Patel
2. Ajit Agarkar
3. Yuvraj Singh

I am not much bothered about Ajit Agarkar, good riddens in fact! But I want both Munaf and Yuvraj to get back into the squad. Neither Kaif nor D. Mongia is a good enough replacement for this talented young chap.

Sreesanth is replacing Agarkar. That's a great move. But do we really have place for this Kerala fast bowler? Depends on the pitch. Based on my 11, we will have to go with Powar if the pitch assists spinners or with Sreesanth otherwise. In any case, I feel Sreesanth is a good prospect for India. A potential spearhead of our pace attack. With Pathan repeatedly biting the dust, he would be the ideal partner to Munaf with the new ball.
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Pakistan, as expected, did play to their lowest potential. Makhaya Ntini bowled amazingly well at the beginning though at the end he was predictable with his deliveries pitching outside the off stump and coming into the batsman at chest height. Umar Gul showed Ntini what was wrong.

I didn't understand a word of what Younis Khan spoke at the post-match awards function. Why couldn't they speak in urdu/ hindi? I mean it was Rameez Raja who was compering, it would have been nice to know what Younis thought of his batsmen. Beats me! English needn't be the de facto standard.
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Today's match: Eng-WI.

I would love it if England thrashed WI. Considering the present form, it looks highly likely that the vice-versa will happen.

Already WI is 75/1 (16th over). A good total of around 250+ will give them the much-needed batting practice ahead of their semi-final with New Zealand at Mohali.
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The Indian squad to South Africa will be announced at Mohali after the Ind-Aus match on October 30th (Cricinfo is carrying an error in their headline). Good chance for the youngsters to prove themselves and come up trumps. An additional carrot to perform well apart from the fact that they will sail into the semis if they can beat Australia. My pick would be this:

1. Rahul Dravid
2. Sachin Tendulkar
3. Anil Kumble (Please pick him. He needs some match practice before the WC '07)
4. Virendra Sehwag
5. Yuvraj Singh
6. Suresh Raina
7. Dinesh Mongia
8. Mohammed Kaif
9. Mahendra Singh Dhoni
10. Dinesh Karthick (He has proved himself in the domestic matches)
11. Harbhajan Singh
12. Irfan Pathan
13. Munaf Patel
14. Sreesanth
15. V.R.V. Singh
16. Zaheer Khan

"India were defeated by West Indies but not disgraced", to quote my favourite Mr. Sidhu. We didn't lose the match when we scored only 223. We didn't lose the match when Raina dropped Gayle. We didn't lose the match when R.P.Singh misfielded what should have been a single. We didn't lose the match when Lara hit his solitary boundary. We were in with a chance when it was 6 needed off 6. And it was all on one man - Mr. Agarkar. Why on earth would anyone bowl a ball short and wide on the offside without having a sweeper in place? Stupid. This man bowled as if he had no match experience at all.

Anyways, it would be very stupid on my part to blame this man alone for this defeat. I should in fact blame WI for bringing me to blame my bowler of the last over of the innings, whereas this match should have been over within 40 overs itself! If we take Bhajji out of the equation, then I guess we would have seen that happen. If Dravid had instead persisted with Irfan Pathan to complete his spell, we would have seen the match end within 35 overs itself! Our new (or is he old now?) #3 batsman and #1 bowler failed on both accounts in this match. To me, this was the crucial link that led to the failure of the chain.

With Pathan being persisted at #3 by the coach and captain, the point to be noted is that: we understand you have your reasons behind doing it, but then it is not yielding the desired results. It is not that he has performed exceedingly well and India has continued to lose because of other technical reasons. His average at #3 is 24.93 [Source: Yesterday's extraaa innings programme (number of "a"s correct?)] and for a #3 batsman that's quite embarassing. He has been given 11 chances at that position with maybe two or three fifties. Not really worth the effort. Please get back to using him as a trump card, not as a regular step.

Thinking of it from another perspective, that of Chappell-Dravid combine, I guess they are thinking of the "sacrifice"-trap that is used in chess. "Sacrifice"-trap means to sacrifice a piece of yours to open up the defence of the opposition and then attack with all your force. With due regards to the experience of the duo I think that kind of moves should be restricted to board games and mind games like chess. Please don't sacrifice an excellent bowler and a decent batsmen like this. A rethink is suggested.

There have been fingers raised at Sehwag. But that's the way this idiot plays. And I think he was going good against the Windies when one came back sharply and kept a little low. It's not the kind of delivery you expect the only-Indian-batsman-to-have-a-triple-hundred-to-his-name to get out to, but then he is going through a bad patch and I strongly feel we need to persist with him. 18 months since he scored a hundred is fine. In fact, we don't need him to score a hundred. If he can score a quickfire 40-50, we are off to a flier and the stage is set for the likes of Yuvraj, Dhoni, Raina and Pathan to come in and consolidate a 300+ total.

My team against Australia would be this:

1. V. Sehwag
2. S. Tendulkar
3. Yuvraj Singh
4. R. Dravid
5. D. Mongia
6. S. Raina
7. M.S. Dhoni
8. I. Pathan
9. R. Powar
10. Harbhajan Singh
11. Munaf Patel

(The fifth bowler can be shared among Sehwag, Tendulkar, Yuvraj and Mongia)

I have dropped Agarkar. You could drop Pathan as well and keep Agarkar. But the Aussies would really cream Agarkar. Especially Ponting (who is due for a big score) loves Agarkar's juicy half volleys bowled at a pace that is really not life-threatening. And Pathan can atleast swing a bit. So, that's a gamble. I would have loved to have Anil Kumble against the Windies as well as Australia.

Needless to say that our batting needs to get its act together. Hoping (as ever!) for a Sharjah-repeat by Sachin Tendulkar against the Aussies.

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Coming to today's match of Pakistan Vs South Africa. The quarterfinal of the other group.

Betting on Pakistan would be stupidity. They are so mercurial in their temperament, that I had rather call mercury as being Pakistanial! Their performance against SL was as professional as unprofessional it was against NZ. If they can keep their batting steady against the SA bowling, then I guess they will score an easy victory. But their batting is what will decide who will win or lose. If you ask me, I don't want the South Africans to win. I just don't like the arrogance of that team despite being a distant second to Australia in everything. If they think that chasing 434 is enough for lifetime arrogance, then they are wrong.

Pakistan should go with their medium-pacers and spinners spearheading the attack. The SA'ns are good at playing fast bowling. Unfortunately they have no spinners worth talking about in their squad. And with a depleted fast bowling attack, they have no other option but to rely on medium pacers like Abdul(r?) Razzaq to do the job. Shoaib Mallik with his off-spin could be useful too.

This will be another match with scores in the range of 200 - 250, but unless you have the steely resolve of Windies to give the spectators' their money's worth, you should see SA coasting along easily.

My bet? Heart says Pakistan. Brain says South Africa. Let's see.

So far...
Yet another dismaying performance from England. After all the talk about Ashes and the build-up to it, they caved in so meekly that you were left wondering if it was an Australia-Zimbabwe match. Now after the NZ-SL and Eng-Aus matches, the average of the teams batting first has come down to 190. Must be an all-time low for a tournament on the Indian sub-continent. It must be something to do with the pitch. These teams cannot continuously take the average down.

Tomorrow's match...
SA-SL. It's a quarter final for SL. If they lose they will find themselves on an early flight to Colombo while If they win, then they will have to wait for the Pak-NZ match on 25th and Pak-SA match on 27th and hope that Pak beats both NZ & SA. Instead of getting into more confusion let me just say the group is still open.

For the SA-SL match, I am backing the Sri Lankans yet again. Motera is a pitch that is traditionally known to take some pace in the beginning and spin later on. If that happens and SL win the toss and elect to bowl, then they are set for a victory. Handling Murali on the turning track with a dew-covered ball is going to be impossible for the inept SA batting line-up. Anyway, as Sidhu says If "ifs" and "buts" were "pots" and "pans" then there would be no tinkers! (If anyone knows what it means, do let me know. I used it because it sounded good! But I know that it talks something against this compulsive use of if's and but's to predict one's own desire as the most practical outcome!)

And yesterday...
I watched this tamil movie called "Vallavan" which has Silambharasan acting and directing the flick. For the first time in my part-time career as a film critic I have come across someone who is more narcissistic than Kamal Hassan. Now, I don't want all of you to pounce on me and say it is good to be a little narcissistic that's when you can do great work. Well, I totally agree to that and for that I will quote every Kamal Hassan movie as proof (except maybe "Alavandan").

Now coming to Narcissism gone haywire, welcome to the world of self-acclaimed Little Super Star Simbhu. He is mad. Crazy. Demented. He has just shot this movie to imitate Rajnikanth and Kamal Hassan and prove to himself that he is a divine combination of both of these. Also to take dirty below-the-belt potshots at S.J.Surya. [I am now shaking my head thinking of how Mr. S.J.Surya will now react to these!] "Vallavan" has been made so that Simbhu may kiss and fondle his 'supposedly' real-life sweetheart Nayanthara (who is stunningly beautiful after losing that extra flab around her waist!). I don't think she even allows this guy with an oversized head near him otherwise! Why was sweet-faced Sandhya needed? And why was Reema Sen made to look like a tramp even in a school dress? I pity producer Mr. Thenappan for investing on Simbhu and totally support him if he hasn't paid Simbhu 40% of his fees. This movie will not run beyond the first 4 days and there is a possibility that Simbhu's house maybe stoned after this!

Even scenes with potential are spoilt in the name of some non-existent style. For eg., the scene where Simbhu walks upto some guy (who looks like he has fallen off from some RGV Factory's movie set) and advises him on how love should be treated and induced in a girl by love but not threatened. One thing I didn't understand amidst the hundreds of screwed up things in the movie is: Why do the sidekicks always make this puking sound while being pulled around by the rope after being hit by our Little Super Star (my foot! little super star!)?!! I am actually surprised he didn't name it "Simbhuvan"!

To top it all...
I watched this movie in a drive-in theatre in Chennai.

1. For starters, this guy doesn't seem to have a cap on the capacity. He will allow as many cars as possible. And they will park themselves wherever they find it comfortable. There is nobody guiding these cars and I guess he never stops issuing the tickets.
2. The canteen is of no use. He has bhel-puri, cutlet, paneer roll and veg roll. Period.
3. I agree that as a theatre you have no control over lights that are lighting up the background behind the screen, but please switch off those lights (Ladies Toilet lights, canteen lights, etc.) or atleast find some way of covering it up so that it doesn't disrupt the cinema-viewers experience.
4. Can you please strictly check the cars of those coming into the theater for alcoholic drinks? The car next to us was having beer and smoking away to glory. It (Beer can smell awful and the smoke made it claustrophobic) made our experience much worse than Simbhu intended to.
5. The sound system is pathetic. The Auto Drivers' Stand next to my house hired better speakers for their Ayudha Puja celebrations. The frequency of sounds generated by your speakers would have been better intercepted by owls and bats! Save us, we are human beings!

Sathyam Cinema wins hands down on all accounts!